A beautiful expression of your struggles, I feel for you. 🖤 I can relate, with the exception that for many years, I whined a lot.

You could possibly be served well to detach lightly from the future and past. Perhaps this won't be easy, or you won't think it possible. But...

... we humans have a ridiculous ability to change and evolve over time. Absolutely. Ridiculous!

As accomplished as you are, I know you already know this, and so much more that will propel you forward still.

Most importantly, we must be wary of identifying ourselves by the symptoms of our neural imperfections. Depression and anxiety are not real entities, but effects of faulty yet manageable looping in the brain.

Those who profit from the stealthily worded "chemical imbalances" make me sick.

You know who you were, who you are, and most importantly, you know who you want to be. However you see that person, the future you, see them clearly in your mind's eye. See them in yourself, see them in the mirror smiling back at you, see them in your shadow.

If nothing must change but how you feel about yourself as you are, about life as it's meant to remain, then there's your focus of purpose! 😊

Such a mind deserves full control, deserves free range of itself.

Such a person deserves it all.

Only beware of overcorrection; really consider a focus on retaining your care for the feelings of others. ❤️

It becomes too easy to forget, the illimitable sensitivities of the people left to live by their lower, subconscious minds.

Someday you won't be this person as you are today.

Entirely new sections of brain will have grown, abandoned areas will have been repurposed, the whole organism will be a new map of still ever intricate wiring.

Wiring based on the direction you've already chosen, because it's your truest will deep within.

The healing abilities we've discovered in ourselves these last seventy years alone...

The mind contains its own organic universe, such is the potential of movement towards and away new and old modes of being.

But now I'm rambling.

Thank you for sharing, I wish you the best with it all. Take care 🙏🙏

- G