I just searched for a while to find this comment again to say my use of the black heart emoji is diverse, and that might skew your perspective of its appearance in this case. I mean it with more than the usual gravity this time. Even if it could be much worse for her somewhere else, I haven't gotten over the guilt of prioritizing my own health and peace of mind over getting her out at all cost. To this day, when I'm alone, I sometimes still sing the songs with her name, about my love for her, how cute she is and whatnot. When I catch myself, the ensuing silence feels like a weight, until I shake it off.