I started reading this last night right before falling asleep. Honestly, who knows where we're heading now... in recent months, my head's been feeling gradually more overwhelmed by the day. It's not just the AI and other technological changes happening at the speed of light. The whole of existence, being alive, the fact that every moment can be maximized, or wasted entirely... I'm shocked still to be alive, and afraid of fear itself, for excessive fear gives a premature death... but I can't return to facing danger with excessive excitement or complacency either. I've stopped taking my night walks around the city, because my roommate who never leaves the apartment said "it's getting worse out there," and I let it get to my head. Even if it is getting worse out there, with our city growing from immigration, all the people moving in from Toronto, and the homeless shelters running out of space even for those with severe mental health issues... I love it out there. I never feel more alive than when I might have to be ready for anything. Mostly staying inside these last six months, only leaving shortly and during the days, I feel stagnant. But there's such heavy meaning in everything, as all this universal beauty exists around us, and it wouldn't matter if it couldn't be experienced, or built upon. Every interaction means everything, which is why I'm incredibly self-conscious to send you this long and largely irrelevant comment at this time. I want not to give any fucks, but that attitude takes mental math beyond my present abilities to execute with grace. Depending on the lens, I might fixate on my personal problems, my roommates, my family's since I split from them, issues that affect my city, my country, the world... every problem of hate, unacceptance and societal inequality... they're all the same problems-- human language that separates our identities fundamentally, low exposure to differences, generational programing... a simple failure to understand the value and power of loving one another as a species. Seeing the Earth destroyed, realizing there's nothing here that isn't Earth. We're not on it, we ARE it. Every cell in our body comes from its surface, returns to it after death. In calm, we vibrate as one, and we can heal anything. I rationalize to myself that if we waste pre-slaughtered animal flesh, it might come back to them in a next life. Obviously, I lack the experience to know what will really happen with this. The world's leading monetary controllers are officially unrelated to the countries they pretend to represent, and the washed up masses leave their funds to be owned by them, a limited set of families around the world, these funds which are then used to treat the rich who don't need it in the first place. Infinite realities exist, one for every atom that finally splits from the universe extending past its limits, but THIS ONE IS ALL WE HAVE. And it might be less real or consistent than we think. But that can't matter, because the cost of being wrong would far outweigh the alternative... and here we are, dealing with pesky bots and stalkers, both entities unaware of the time and space they occupy, ignoring the value of their impacts... I should probably eat before continuing to use Medium this day. 🙂✨🖤