I thought I'd taken after my mother, with the lies, the gaslighting, the various forms of emotional and mental abuse in the name of absolute power over others, especially her loved ones... my entire life, she forced me to consider her every mood, thought, and reaction to everything, until she became a permanent face and voice inside my head, tearing me down and distracting me from where I wanted to focus myself. She's mentally ill, and I don’t blame her for anything. Before covid, and living in Canada, with some of the least affordable housing prices in the world right now, I was struggling to make the right choices for myself, and during Covid lockdown, I was caught living with them again. I'm 29, and it didn't go well. We haven't spoken in a year, but when I was first separated, there was a girl with whom I was becoming close. My head was in a bad place, I needed space, and while I told her all truths, it became apparent the truth was too much, so despite my feelings for her, I had to make some stuff up to push her away. Several people I've disturbed or depressed this year by talking about it, and that's without sharing audio recordings of what it was really like. One friend did hear* a recording, and he couldn't sleep comfortably for two weeks. The book will take me years to write, and when it comes out, I want no one feeling it can be trusted. But this makes my life sound worse than it was. In reality, nothing much was extreme, but it was so much abnormality, and just enough wrong amid the right that, considering her own issues, which most people struggle to understand, are relegated to the home and don't prevent her from helping thousands around the world every day, I'd rather not invite strangers to decide a final verdict. I myself have learned all I can to transform myself for the better, and am blessed with an extensively gracious support group from friends at home, to the beautiful Medium community, and others around the world who've shown me love and acceptance in times light and dark. I believe that's my best answer to your statement in this moment. Thank you for expressing yourself honestly. You can ask or add anything you'd like, but otherwise, I wish you well this night. ✨✨🙏 Take care.