Member-only story
Of Auricular Apophenia
“It used to be there were only eyes you’d see, but now they’ve added in ear shapes too!!! For what better way to test our telepathic systems, than to encourage people to feel heard by thinking out loud 70% more of the time they think they’re alone!? And more. Yes, we at Neural Core have run countless tests— ”
As subtle as I could be, I peeked at the time.
The man noticed, and with but a brief stumble, carried on, “a-and it works!! All of it!!!” Both arms shot excitedly up in the air, gesturing the grandeur of his team’s achievements.
“People everywhere — at home, in their vehicles, walking outside, and even at the office — are now talking to themselves often enough to confirm our AI has the highest thought detection rate available today!!!”
Such an odd figure, I wondered why I’d never seen them around here before.
Neural Core.
I itched to pull out my phone and look it up online.
“Just look around you, and you’ll find the shape of ears built into all styles of surfaces— inside and outside the home!! We’ve touched street benches, vehicle gas monitors, tv remotes, computer keyboards, home windows, mailboxes, app icons, candles, jewelry, clothing hangers, soda cans, trash can lids, those new yet wasteful mechanisms for locking plastic bottles— which I was actually against— ”
I considered maybe it wasn’t so bad I forgot my headphones today after all. As I’d journaled on Monday, it’s really time for me to seek new social connections anyway.
But was this person for real?
“ — they’re snuck into advertisements for loan sharks, video games, shampoos and body wash, pickup trucks, sports gear, lipsticks, light fixtures, breakfast cereals, all the laundry detergents— varied machines, appliances and amenities are made in their likeness!!” His eyes nearly rolled to the back of his head, and his voice rose in tonality, but I stayed composed, and listened carefully.
Despite doubting whether they were sane and actually knew what they were talking about, I was happy to see such vibrancy in a soul. In my periphery, I caught my bus turning into the station.
