This poem has such a haunting palette of words... and I'm realizing how badly I want to help people let go of their pasts now. Have you delved in Carl Jung at all? Barely last month, I read just the first chapter of 'Change Your Story, Change Your Life', and it connected so many dots at once I almost felt the neural waves!!! There are many other books which probably helped for me to read first, but there was an immediate transformation the day I started this one. Never even continued reading it yet, as the introduction was so powerful, I no longer felt the pull. Hoping things clear up for you soon though. Without your appreciation, an entire universe exists meaninglessly after all.